Fatty Rewind

fatty rewind april 2017

April Post-Lent Edition

by arseinclarse, NOLA native
April 24, 2017

It’s been a while, but the pain from an amazing weekend has returned. The forty day cleanse was enjoyable, but the train took off the tracks this weekend. The Beam flowed for four days straight, and I ate a ton.

Mellow Mushroom on Oak

On Friday, I left work and headed over to Mellow Mushroom on Oak to watch a documentary about Newman football. On the way across the river, I stopped at the house for a road beverage.

Upon entry to Mellow, I was greeted with doubles of Beam and a side of Manning. The Beam was delicious. Peyton’s retirement tears were salty.


Before diving into the pies, I made my way around the pretzels and wings. The pretzels were legit. I liked dipping them in the cheese. The wings need work. I only had four of them.


While the show was on, I grazed on the pies. I enjoyed the meat and bbq chicken varieties the best. I also enjoyed the crust. It’s a bit different than most pizzas.


When I realized I had eaten one large pizza, I decided to call it quits, but I wanted to continue drinking. My hangover from Thursday had finally dissipated.

Bouligny Tavern

The lady and I went to Bouligny Tavern. They had fig old fashioned’s, and they were delicious. I had at least two.


I returned home before 11 and went to bed. I had raged Thursday night and was exhausted.

Cherry Espresso Bar

On Saturday, I awoke at the crack of dawn to run some errands and deal with some wedding shit.

I stopped by Cherry Espresso Bar for some morning eats. I grabbed an iced coffee and a scramble. The scramble had cheese, peppers and ham. It was very good and filling with the toast. They could have left the fruit off of the plate. I don’t eat that much healthy shit.


When I was done, I headed out to Metry. I had several places to stop out there and wanted to get out of there before 1. I’m not a fan of driving in Metry.

After my first two stops, I developed a thirst for Beam. I couldn’t find a bar open around 10. I opted for a couple of cold ones in a parking lot.



When all was said and done at Lakeside, I headed over to Kanno for lunch. I love this place. I ordered a large Sapporo, sake, spicy soft shell crab soup, toro sashimi, kobe beef sashimi and the Elvis roll. The soup is only $5 and very filling. It’s extremely tasty and full of flavor. The toro and kobe were top notch, and the roll is as good as it gets.


After the meals here, they give you these amazing chocolate bites. I would probably eat 100 of them if they were put in front of me. They’re ridiculous and free.


Sports Beat

After lunch, I had to kill an hour before something was ready for pick up. I scooted over to the Sports Beat. I bellied up to the bar, ordered a double and watched some baseball. The drinks were good, and I loved the styrofoam cups. It’s a nice touch.


After a couple rounds, it was time to go. I wanted to get back home to watch some spring football games.

The lady passed out and I started pounding the Beam. Bama was looking good, and Saban looked classy as shit on the field with his blazer. I’m just glad Verne wasn’t calling the game and slobbing all over Saban’s knob. Herbstreit was doing it well enough.


After the game was over, it was time to start thinking about dinner. I had put a fifth away and my stomach was looking for food.

Le Crepe Nanou

We ran to Le Crepe Nanou for an early dinner. I started off with a few old fashioneds to keep the body going. I ordered the crab avocado salad and soft shell crab. They were both fresh and delicious. I love this time of year.


For dessert, I ordered another old fashioned and decided to walk over to Creole Creamery. The drink was good, but the line to Creole was at least 50 deep. I didn’t wait around for that shit. I had plenty of Beam at the house, and LSU was about to be on.


The game must have been amazing. I passed out some time during it, and when I woke up, I discovered that I was banned from Tigerdroppings. I’m ready for the regular season.

Manhattan Jacks

On Sunday, I got up for mass early. I had some time to kill so I drove to Manhattan Jacks and got a few cake donuts and a coffee. Their donuts are outstanding and filling. I’d rate this one a 10/10.


Poke Loa

After mass, I ran home to take care of some business. On the way, I grabbed a poke salad from Poke Loa. I always get the three scoop option. This time I ran with tuna, salmon and spicy tuna. I love these bowls.



Around 1, I headed to Lafitte’s to drink with the boys. I pounded for about 5 hours, while the lady was at a shower. I was feeling no pain, and the cool weather made me feel invisible. I think I put down around 6 doubles.


Around 5, the lady appeared to rescue me. She came carrying treats. I went to town on this plate.


Company Burger

On the way home, we headed over to Company Burger. I got a double with no bun and onion rings. I’m trying to watch my carbs.


When I got back to the house, I discovered this butter cream dog looking thing. I devoured it and passed out happy.


Next week is Jazz Fest. Eat and drink your asses off. Stay fat, my friends.

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