Fatty Rewind: LSU in the Dome & Southern Decadence Edition

Fatty Rewind September 2017

By arseinclarse

If LSU opened every season in New Orleans on Labor Day weekend, I might die sooner than expected.

It was a bourbon-filled two days downtown. I couldn’t do shit on Monday.

I beat the wifey home on Friday from work. While she was out, I poured a stiff one and watched College Football Live like a twelve year old watching porn for the first time.

After getting several boners from all the action and analysis, we headed to dinner at Saffron. I’m a huge fan of their cuisine, and I was happy they opened their doors uptown. The renovations are outstanding, and I think that they will finally break the curse at that address.

While I admired the bar and cocktail list, I finished my finest bourbon in my solo cup. I always try to class places up.


When we were seated, I ordered their old fashioned, baked oysters, naan and several roti options. We went with the truffled and garlic naan options. Truffled is the tits. For “bread companions” we went with the lentils, eggplant, cheese and cauliflower. They were all full of flavor. I especially enjoyed the lentils and asked for another order. The oysters were also tasty in their butter bath.


For the second round of apps, we ran with the chicken skewers and crab meat/lentil pancakes. I loved both, but was more anxious about the goat entree which was coming next. I enjoy heat. The more the better. The guys at Saffron have mastered the perfect combination of heat and flavor. I’m looking forward to my next return.


(bonus pick of their delicious lamb chops)


After dinner, we returned home to watch some football before going to see Big Sam at Tipitina’s. When I got to Tips, I offered Professor some of my Beam. I think he enjoyed it. But my night would end sooner than expected. There was a bear fight going on in my stomach between the Beam and Indian food. I couldn’t allow one to beat the other. I needed them both to wake up ready to fight on game day.


I awoke on Saturday hungry for victory. I poured a Beam and ran my usual errands. On the way back home, I stopped for a hot sausage, egg and cheese biscuit from Freret Street Donuts. The sausage was overcooked for me. I’m not scared to eat slightly undercooked sausage. Either way, I devoured it.


While the wifey showered and got ready. I drank and watched College Game Day. That show has become a joke. If I ever see Lee Corso on the streets, I’m going to pants him and push him over. Who cares if he’s a senior citizen?

Around 11, we headed over to Peche for an early lunch. I ordered some oysters, crab claws, smoked tuna dip, boiled shrimp, steak tartare and hush puppies. If the good lord allowed me to eat here every day, I would. I love their food, and I never feel like I’m in pain from eating when I leave there.


After lunch, I returned home to watch more football. I had plans to meet my baws at Borgne for 4:30 before going to the game, so I had plenty of time to get lit for the game.


When I arrived at Borgne, I ordered their old fashioned but quickly switched back to double Beams. They had their tapas menu out, so I took advantage of it. I went with turkey necks, catfish sliders, chips and dip and rabbit ragout. The necks were the best, and I ordered another round.



While the gang ordered entrees, I ordered more cocktails and some royal red ceviche. The ceviche looked pretty, but it left a lot to be desired. When my buddy wasn’t looking I snuck some of his softshell crab. It was very good.


After Borgne, we headed over to Champions Square. It was a mess as expected. With the short notice of the game, they weren’t able to keep the beers flowing. I was lucky to grab three for the walk into the dome.

Once inside, we grabbed drinks and went to listen to the Golden Band from Tigerland perform all of their hits. Football is motherfucking back!!!!!!!!!!!!!


During the start of the second quarter, I made a food run. I grabbed some jambalaya and some type of sausage sandwich. They were both good.


After making it home, I looked at the stats from the game. I knew we dominated, but the stats don’t lie. Hats off to the defense on the dominant performance. Coach O, Canada and Aranda had them boys ready to play. This season can be magical.

Early on Sunday, I awoke to prepare for Southern Decadence. I ran to the store to grab some staples. I put my chef hats on and made some delicious bacon, butter and jelly biscuits.


After breakfast, I poured myself a Beam to shower with. I was feeling no pain. Once I was dressed, I glittered up and Ubered to Lafitte’s. I was abnormally not humid, so I was ready to party.


Some regulars brought some cookies from Milwaukee’s Sciortino’s Bakery. I went to town on those damn things. I made them hide them in the back.


I was flying solo for the first few hours, so the drinks were flowing. By the time the wifey met me around 1, she was walking into a buzzsaw. I was about 4 doubles in and the party was just getting started. We walked to Amelie to catch a drink, some shots and watch the parade. I was greeted with a delicious cupcake.



After the parade ended, the wife wanted to grab some lunch. We walked to Doris, but they had already shut down their lunch business.

We decided to head to Kingfish. I wish I could redo that decision. I usually like this place, but the food was beyond mediocre. We had skins with pimento cheese, crawfish dip and crab claws. The pimento cheese was more like watery velveeta than the shit they serve in the Dome. I won’t be heading back there soon.


After that disappointment, we walked down Bourbon to the Oz and Pub. We walked into the Oz, got some drinks and displayed our badass dance moves. I probably killed the vibe, but you only live once.

After a few songs, we headed back down to Lafitte’s to grab a drink for the ride home. There was a lot of moisture in the air.


I made it home around 5. The wife ordered a pizza and some wings. We went to town on the pie before passing out. It was an exhausting weekend to say the least.


Stay fat, my friends.